The 4th Day

I am in a much better place than I was a year ago. I’ve learned a lot about myself and my worldview has undergone some big changes. Along the way, however, I ditched my commitment to abstain from alcohol. I also allowed weed back into my life, because it smoothed out my anxiety and helped … More The 4th Day

National Suicide Prevention Week 2017: Stay. Find What You Were Made For.

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day (Sept. 10) and the start of National Suicide Prevention Week. This week means so much to me, because I get to be a part of  something bigger than myself for a cause that is extremely personal. This is the week where more people than usual are listening. This will … More National Suicide Prevention Week 2017: Stay. Find What You Were Made For.

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the truth is a bitch i can run hide from and attempt to dodge her attempts to strangle me with light but she always finds what she seeks after and she has i miss him i jumped into something new abruptly i still care for him i tried to love someone new too quickly i … More 4

Donaven Lucas Anwell

Lucas originates from Latin, meaning “light” or “illumination.” Anwell is a Welsh surname meaning “beloved.” I was going to wait until it was legal to make the name change announcement, but not only is it a very lengthy process, but I can no longer sit with being a Smith. My parents are outright homophobic and … More Donaven Lucas Anwell

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in public places i mourn in private places i bawl in regret, in memory i longingly ache but i’ll be damned if i let a still shattered core prevent the fluidly flowing passion that resides in the heated highways of this temple’s branches from blooming out of fractured fragments i will rise and begin to make … More 3

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i’m already dying of this fresh loneliness overwhelming with its dark familiarity all encompassing in its reach eyelids locked from exhaustion tearfully swollen but i hope once i can finally let light bounce into the browns of their underlying centers that they will melt into the blues of yours beside me again in peace for … More 2

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vodka and rum may burn the throat but the thought of you sets my mind on fire in the worst kind of way i’d rather black out than feel blood circulate to a sober hand that once let both of yours hold it as you whispered you’re worth fighting for god i fell apart under … More 1