I know I’ve been slacking on writing, but it’s because so much stuff happened since my first update. I’ve been living life so hard. First off, I relapsed with flying colors and crashed my car into a ditch two weeks into 2018. My life could not have gotten any lower… I was literally stuck in a ditch. … More V/I: Update #2, One Month Sober (again)
Preface: “V/I” is how I’m tracking posts about my two-part album, Vulnerable/Invincible. You can keep up with these posts by hovering/clicking on the “Music” tab of my website’s header and then clicking on “V/I Posts.” Okay, that is all. This week sets the tone for 2018. Let me be the first to admit that I … More V/I: Update #1, Healing?
In the last 5 years, I’ve been hospitalized 8 times due to my mental illness and/or substance abuse. And you know what? That is nothing to be ashamed about. Every time you were sick over the last 5 years, you probably went to the hospital, too. There is nothing wrong with getting help and for … More The Most Liberating Sort of Euphoria
It didn’t take much to put me in the hospital for a day and a night and another day – just handfuls of Tylenol, a message to a girl, and that girl opening her mouth to tell on me, to refuse to let me go. I just needed one person to prove to me that … More You Deserve This, Donaven
Today is World Suicide Prevention Day (Sept. 10) and the start of National Suicide Prevention Week. This week means so much to me, because I get to be a part of something bigger than myself for a cause that is extremely personal. This is the week where more people than usual are listening. This will … More NSPW 2017: Stay. Find What You Were Made For.
the truth is a bitch i can run hide from and attempt to dodge her attempts to strangle me with light but she always finds what she seeks after and she has i miss him i jumped into something new abruptly i still care for him i tried to love someone new too quickly i … More 4
Lucas originates from Latin, meaning “light” or “illumination.” Anwell is a Welsh surname meaning “beloved.” I was going to wait until it was legal to make the name change announcement, but not only is it a very lengthy process, but I can no longer sit with being a Smith. My parents are outright homophobic and … More Donaven Lucas Anwell
in public places i mourn in private places i bawl in regret, in memory i longingly ache but i’ll be damned if i let a still shattered core prevent the fluidly flowing passion that resides in the heated highways of this temple’s branches from blooming out of fractured fragments i will rise and begin to make … More 3
i’m already dying of this fresh loneliness overwhelming with its dark familiarity all encompassing in its reach eyelids locked from exhaustion tearfully swollen but i hope once i can finally let light bounce into the browns of their underlying centers that they will melt into the blues of yours beside me again in peace for … More 2
vodka and rum may burn the throat but the thought of you sets my mind on fire in the worst kind of way i’d rather black out than feel blood circulate to a sober hand that once let both of yours hold it as you whispered you’re worth fighting for god i fell apart under … More 1