“Now That I’m Sober” | 8 Months

I don’t exactly have the words to describe this strange, yet awesome place that I’m in. I’m stretched very thin with work (even though I absolutely love it) and school, but I am also incredibly grateful for the life that I’m living. This 8 months snuck up on me! Only 6 more weeks left in the semester. I have to keep telling myself that the busyness is only temporary. There is only one summer class, a CLEP exam, and two courses in the fall standing between me and graduation in December. Of course, amongst all of that, I’ll be applying for graduate school.

What even is my life? It’s definitely busy, but one that is beyond my wildest dreams.

I keep keeping on one day at a time, I don’t drink or use no matter what, and the days add up. My relationships, finances, and mental health are all improving. I have no reason to go back to drugs or alcohol. I am happy, joyous, and free.

I don’t know how, but I’ve manage to find time to focus on my music and there is a lot of exciting stuff coming out soon. I wrote a 3-song EP and also worked with a pretty big name producer who I’ve admired since I first found electronic music. It’s insane how my space in music is evolving, but I’m looking forward to seeing where this all takes me, if anywhere.

Apart from that, I wrote a song about my sobriety and Chroma Records released it today. I worked with mISHO, the same producer who I worked on “Superhuman” with, as well as Marjuraak. This song goes out to anyone battling addiction. I promise you, life gets better once we put the substances down and reach out for help. You are not alone. You are enough. You are worthy. You are loved. But you are much more lovely without poision in your veins. Recovery is possible. Hope and help are real.

You can listen to “Now That I’m Sober” on Spotify here. It’s also on SoundCloud and Apple Music.

Lyrics:
Bottles and pipes polluted blood
Destroying anything that meant anything to me
I never thought that I could get it
But now I’m free
Thank God I’m free
I fight like hell for dreams I’m living
And I’m not going back at all
Stability can be unnerving
Let’s be honest, the other shoe’s supposed to drop

But in my heart of hearts
I know that I am changing, truly changing
And for once in my life
There’s not a fear I’m entertaining
Entertaining, la-da-di-da

Eff no, I ain’t gonna cave
I’m much more lovely without poison in my veins
And now that I’m sober
I’m over who I used to be
At least I’m trynna be
Now that I’m sober, sober, sober
I’ll never be perfect, but damn, it ain’t worth it
To throw it away

Trust me, I’ve been graced with love
From right beside me and above
Who would I be without that light?
Keeping all hope in sight
It’s gonna be alright
I’m still settling into this body
And rediscovering what’s me
Yeah, stability has been surprising
But, you know, I’m right where I’m supposed to be

But in my heart of hearts
I know that I am changing, truly changing
And for once in my life
There’s not a fear I’m entertaining
Or let detain me
I know each day’s a gift
I get to live in the present where I’m present
And as I’m realigned to peace of mind
I’ll stay grateful

I ain’t gonna cave
I’m much lovely without poison in my veins
And now that I’m sober
I’m over who I used to be
At least I’m trynna be
Now that I’m sober, sober, sober
I’ll never be perfect, but damn, it ain’t worth it
‘Less I give it away

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”


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