“Sober”

Demi Lovato has been a huge role model for me in my recovery. With the release of her latest single, she has admitted to a relapse after 6 years of sobriety and it’s inspired me to begin to deal with the fact that I’m not sober anymore either. I relapsed on St. Patrick’s Day and I have yet to commit myself to sobriety again. My substance abuse isn’t destroying my life quite yet, but I know how this works. I have people telling me that it’s okay if I drink and drug as long as I “do it in moderation,” but I’ve tried that. It doesn’t work for me. It seems to be working, but I know that it’s just an illusion to keep me coming back for more. Eventually, moderation stops working.

The ball is in my court and what I do next is up to me. For now, I’ve covered this song and it was the most cathartic thing I’ve done in months. You can search for this track on most music platforms and find it. Pre-save/save it on Spotify by clicking here.

LYRICS:
I got no excuses
For all of these goodbyes
Call me when it’s over
‘Cause I’m dying inside
Wake me when the shakes are gone
And the cold sweats disappear
Call me when it’s over
And myself has reappeared

I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know why
I do it every, every, every time
It’s only when I’m lonely
Sometimes I just wanna cave
And I don’t wanna fight
I try and I try and I try and I try and I try
Just hold me, I’m lonely

Momma, I’m so sorry, I’m not sober anymore
And daddy, please forgive me for the drinks spilled on the floor
To the ones who never left me
We’ve been down this road before
I’m so sorry, I’m not sober anymore

I’m sorry to my present love
To the man that left my bed
For making love the way I saved for you inside my head

And I’m sorry for the friends I’ve lost
Who watched me fall again
I wanna be a role model
But I’m only human

Annie, I’m so sorry, I’m not sober anymore
And Joshua, please forgive me for the drinks spilled on the floor
To the ones who never left me
We’ve been down this road before
I’m so sorry, I’m not sober anymore

I’m sorry that I’m here again
I promise I’ll get help
It wasn’t my intention
I’m sorry to myself

With hope,
Donaven


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