i’m already dying of this fresh loneliness
overwhelming with its dark familiarity
all encompassing in its reach

eyelids locked from exhaustion
tearfully swollen
but i hope once i can finally
let light bounce into the browns
of their underlying centers that they will
melt into the blues of yours
beside me again in peace

for your overly oxygenated lungs
breathed maxims into my worth
feeding it a multitude of beloved clichés
fiery fervors fluttered on as
our laughter rearranged and
shattered galaxies
creating more magnificent, brighter spirals
where props would soon lay and a
stage would be set for Destruction,
our ironic tragedy in many parts

perhaps it’s not even you i’m needing
and maybe if it’s confidently spoken into
existence i will believe it

i don’t need you
i don’t need you
i don’t i don’t i do
i don’t need you
i need you
i don’t

maybe i’m craving anything that will
suspend midair my time there
sustain every smile i flashed and affected
and memorialize every shiver my heart
braved whenever it did one of its three great things

love / break / heal

you are the manifestation
of all that this heart can do

i used to terrify myself with nightmares
of being tossed aside, forgotten
and even though i know i’m on your mind
habitual fears
no matter their age
retain their grip
with unexpected gusto

am i still on your heart?
am i still on theirs?
is that where i’ll stay?
oh i have never been one to
succeed at boldly moving on

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