vodka and rum may burn the throat
but the thought of you sets my mind
on fire in the worst kind of way

i’d rather black out
than feel blood circulate
to a sober hand that once let
both of yours hold it as you whispered
you’re worth fighting for

god i fell apart under that whisper

after the first time
i spent months caught up in a bender
wasted weeks completely wasted to
try to forget you
then day after day in rehab dreaming
of that very moment

i had missed you for so long

and i knew the risks associated with believing
anything your addictive voice
could murmur in my bed
curled up in a veneer of honesty
seemingly welcoming and vulnerable

don’t pretend like you didn’t know i loved you

so here i am 4 months later
still falling apart
but finding comfort in the truth that
you will never find someone
with a heart as big as mine was for you

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